Necrotic Obsession

Oxymoron right? yep, thats me. As of late I've been in a real funk with life in general. A bit of a background would tell you that I recently got dumped by this guy who told a great fairy tale about a love story that was never supposed to end. Guess what? yeah you guessed it.

Out of work, over slept, and tired of the bullshit that life brings. Don't get me wrong I've been looking. In my spare time that I've not been looking, I went out and got enrolled in college.

Took the accuplacer, applied for the FAFSA, got accepted and only have to take one remedial class in math. I passed the high school algebra but failed the college. Here is the kicker... I fucking applied to attend in January. WELL, since I'm not working, I want to go this summer. Just missed the deadline or am about to unless I hurry and apply for my 2007 tax return receipt. Then reapply for fafsa and wait about a week. So one step forward two steps back.

Got back money this year, but NOT quite enough to buy a car. UGH. So now its just a pretty down payment I can't touch until I get a job.

I've been on my period for about a month and a half *excluding ONE week*... Went for 3 weeks, quit, went for 3 more weeks... Currently feeling psychotic. Don't have money to spend to go to the doctor. I am tempted to just spend my check on getting my body normal. Hopefully I don't have some sort of cysts or something thats fucking my shit up. We will see. :/

I decided instead of crying over the man I love that waited till I went out of town to fuck someone else that I would just rebound. Well, now I'm in a month long relationship with a fucking annoying fuck. Its just a phase I assure you.

Not that much to complain about really, but I feel down. I can't verbalize the zombie funk that I'm in.

My son is already a year and a half old. Sad really, they grow up so fast. Till there grown and still living at home that is LOL.

Ok well good night necro.

''I can't verbalize the zombie funk that I'm in.''


get some excercise....

get those endorphines pumping!!!!

From Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life":

Whenever life gets you down, Mrs. Brown
And things seem hard or tough
And people are stupid, obnoxious or daft
And you feel that you've had quite eno-o-o-o-o-ough

Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour
That's orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned
A sun that is the source of all our power
The sun, and you and me, and all the stars that we can see
Are moving at a million miles a day
In an outer spiral arm, at forty thousand miles an hour
Of the galaxy we call the Milky Way

Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars
It's a hundred thousand light-years side to side
It bulges in the middle sixteen thousand light-years thick
But out by us it's just three thousand light-years wide
We're thirty thousand light-years from Galactic Central Point
We go 'round every two hundred million years
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whiz
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know
Twelve million miles a minute and that's the fastest speed there is
So remember when you're feeling very small and insecure
How amazingly unlikely is your birth
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth

... Well, that song always cheers me up, at least!

Best of luck with everything - I'm sure it will all work out, somehow, when you least expect it.

Choke someone! That helps too! Feel for ya though. Good luck.

I loved that monty! Thanks yall... Now I'm sick on top of it LOL.
I should choke the fucker that got me sick.
But tomorrow is a new day. I actually started dieting *shivers*
Cut cokes out of my life, and carbies.

:D So yeah. I WANT A JOB!

just get going and keep the focus :D

Thanks.

Another update.
(I should get a gold medal for pushing people away)

Yesterday I fell, and fucked up my left foot. Went to the ER and spent 12 hours sitting waiting to get a fucking xray. My boyfriend came up there and waited with me for 6 hours when he found out. Turns out it was a bruised bone or some shit. Anyways they gave me a foot splint thing, and some IBprofen... BOO. I wanted some vicoden because it hurt.

Then as we are driving home he says to me that he is thinking about moving back to Alaska. I'm like UHHH how? He worked out a deal with one of his old employers and said that if he didnt get a job at this other place near by he was leaving. I was really quiet and upset, because he kind of was growing on me after spending all night at the ER just to make sure I was okay. It was a nice thing to do.

7 am I get home and we cuddle, and right before he leaves I tell him I love him. He PROMISED to come over and say goodbye if he left.

I try to call him at 5pm and no reply. I didnt really think too much. I get a text later that evening saying that it wasnt his number anymore and he already left. I was like what? I asked what happened and turns out he jumped on a plane at exactly 5pm today without even saying goodbye.

I swear this feels like a fucking drama story unfolding. So I'm single. again. I think I will stay this way for a while. Since I ran the last out of state and all. Its not like I was in love with him *yes cliche* but I did care, otherwise I wouldnt have wasted my fucking time. Like I said he had nice traits, but I just cant believe I cared for a guy that up and leave like that. This was the most epic breakup I have ever really had.

So other than that... SSDD

lesson here, dont fart on your BF.. they jump on planes and leave for other parts of the world..

Listen to Pariah. He's speaking with the wisdom gained through personal experience.

*hugs*

Hope things get better. I've been feeling messed up for about the last eight months. I won't go into all the details, but it ends (at least gets to now) with me finding out I had a severe vitamin D deficiency, so they gave me some super prescription vitamin D and Paxil (antidepressant) and I've started feeling better. But anyway, like I said, I hope things get better for you!

I'd be happy to give ya a sympathy hump if ya need it!


Glad to hear your on the mend big chief! Was your vitamin depleasion due to poor diet?

I have no idea. I had a huge change in my life last year - I went from working 16 hrs a day in a factory to not working with a messed up back. Last summer I still spent a lot of time outdoors, but I guess somewhere between then and now I lost all the vitamin D. They say you get depressed in the winter because you get no sun, but for me it seems like it went over 10 fold. I don't eat that great though, but I take multivitamins. Who knows.

That MUST be it.