Necrotic Obsession

My Dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor this past Tuesday, today I was watching an episode of C.S.I. I had missed and there was the Linkin Park song "Leave out all the rest" played over the opening scene I looked it up to hear it again and just got chills.

I love my Dad, a lot of my feelings/fears are echoed in this song about loss.

my shit is way less intense - -let's start this one over....


Yo in she came with the same type game
The type of girl givin out the fake cell phone and name
Big fame, she like cats with big thangs
Jewels chip, money clip, phone flip, the six range
I seen her on the ave, spotted her more than once
Ass so fat that you could see it from the front
She spot me like paparazzi
Shot me a glance in that catwoman stance with the fat booty pants
Hot damn!
What your name love, where you came from?
Neck and wrist laced up, very little make-up
The slims at the Rebok gym tone your frame up
Is sugar and spice the only thing that you made of?
I tried to play it low key but couldn't keep it down
Asked her to dance she was like â'yo, I'm leaving now'
An hour later, sounds from Jamaica
She sippin Crys straight up, shaking, winding her waist up
Scene two: my fam throwin the jam
For Reed is on the stand big things is in the plan
The brother Big Moon make space for me to move in
Hey, this my man Mos, baby let me introduce
I turn around
Say, you is the same pretty girl that I had priorly observed
Trying to play me for the herb (yeah, that's her)
Shocked as hell she couldn't get it together
I just played it low and pretended I never met her
â'How you feelin', â'oh I'm fine', â'my name is Mos', â'I'm Sharice'
I heard so much good about you its nice to finally meet
We moved to the booth reserved crew especially
And honey love ended up sittin directly next to me
I'm type polite but now I'm lookin at her skeptically
Cause baby girl got all the right weaponry
Designer fabric, shoes, and accessories
Chinky eyes, sweet voice is *fucking* on me mentally
We conversated, made a laugh, yeah you know me bro
Even though I know the steelo, she wild sweet yo
I'm about to merc, I say peace to the family
She hop up like â'how you gonna leave before you dance with me?'

[hook]
(sung)
I know I can't afford this life
For a moment
That its too soon
To forget
x2

(spoken by Mos Def)
She blew my whole habit, that girl
I was like â'what'
I played it low though, I was like â'yeah, aiight, c'mon then, let's go'
Its mad, it was so sick, I tell ya
Yo, honey was so blazin, she was just
Yo, she was like J. Kennedy
Word bond, to my mother man
She was that ill man, she take me to the dance floor
And she start whispering to me

[Mos Def]
Yo, let me apologize for the other night
I know it wasn't right
But baby you know what its like
Some brothers don't be coming right
I understand, I'm feeling you
Beside, â'can I have a dance?' ain't really that original
We laughed about it, traced her arms across my shoulder blades
They playing lovers' rock, I got the folded fingers on her waist
He end my butt up like the Arizona summer song
Finished then she whisper â'honey, let's exchange numbers'
Scene three: weeks of datin late night conversation
In the crib heart racin, tryin to be cool and patient
She touched on my eyelids, the room fell silent
She walked away smilin singing Gregory Issac
Like â'if I don't, if I don't, if I don't'
Showin me that tan line and that tatoo
Playin Sade, "Sweetest Taboo"
Burnin candles, all my other plans got canceled
Man I smashed it like an Idaho potato
She call my at my J.O., â'come now', I can't say no
Ginseng tree trunks, rockin the p-funk
Cocking her knees up, champion lover not ease up
Three months, she call â'I feel I'm runnin a fever'
Six months, I'm tellin her I desperately need her
Nine months, flu-like symptoms when shorty not around
I need more than to knock it down I'm really tryin to lock it down
Midnight we hook up and go at it
Burn is over, let her know, sweetheart I got to have it
She tellin me commitment is somethin she can't manage
Wake up the next morning, she gone like it was magic
Ahh damnit! This all Harrison Ford frantic
My 911 wasn't answered by my fly Taurus enchantress
Next week, who hit me up, I saw Sharice at the kiddie club
With some banging ass Asian playin lay it down and lick me up
What!?

"And it makes me float free
To feel how small my life must be"

small-Lamb