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spadgy
 Post subject: ok folks. here we go....
PostPosted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 12:01 am 
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probably very drunk right now
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Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2005 2:21 pm
Posts: 3731
Location: my hangover is drunk :(
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sexist jokes... gogo!!! now!!!!






p.s. my lesbian sister is looking for them. i'm only quietly sexist.

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i am the token drunken irish man. FACT!!

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Scarebear
 Post subject: Re: ok folks. here we go....
PostPosted: Sun Apr 25, 2010 11:54 pm 
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Peep Show Junkie
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Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2005 7:09 pm
Posts: 2732
Location: Oh, hi. Oh! ( >_>) I'm as lame as my state.
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Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because God needs all the women He can get to do His dishes.


Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.


:twisted:

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I make hair accessories.
Here is a link to my Etsy.com shop.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/ScarebearHair

~*~
My Facebook...because I always wanted a book full of faces.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001184818730

~*~
I'm lame enough to have a LiveJournal too.
It's mostly babbling so if you like that sort of thing, have at it.
http://scarebear146.livejournal.com

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spadgy
 Post subject: Re: ok folks. here we go....
PostPosted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 10:22 pm 
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probably very drunk right now
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Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2005 2:21 pm
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Location: my hangover is drunk :(
Blog: View Blog (9)
what's the difference between married women and single women?


the chain around their ankles.

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i am the token drunken irish man. FACT!!

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Rimmon
 Post subject: Re: ok folks. here we go....
PostPosted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 8:22 pm 
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Freak
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Joined: Thu Sep 25, 2008 9:02 pm
Posts: 129
Location: Central Europe
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First man said to God:
-i feel so lonely could u crate a women who will always love me, always be in good mood, be my best friend and will always agree with me ?
- Sure, but i need u to give me ur legs.
-Both legs ?! it would be terrible to live witout them;/ What ill get when i give u a rib ?
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SarahT
 Post subject: Re: ok folks. here we go....
PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 12:11 am 
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Adept
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Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2011 5:23 am
Posts: 55
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why did god make woman last?
he didn't want someone telling him what to do.
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Crow
 Post subject: Re: ok folks. here we go....
PostPosted: Sat Apr 23, 2011 8:36 pm 
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Dark Knight
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Joined: Tue Jan 21, 2003 4:14 am
Posts: 4998
Location: Ontario, Canada
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why are women's feet small:
- So they can stand closer to the stove.

Why don't women need to wear a watch?
- Because there is a clock on the stove

What do you do when you find your shot wife crawling across the lawn?
- Reload and shoot again

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She smells of sunflowers and napalm...

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Diamhasla
 Post subject: Re: ok folks. here we go....
PostPosted: Sat Apr 23, 2011 9:18 pm 
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Darkness Incarnate
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Joined: Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:07 pm
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It's an old one but...

What to you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've told her twice already.

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Victories do not simply happen.
Blood must be shed, a lot of blood, to achieve them and to lay them down at the feet of conquerers. Without the corpses and the scattered limbs you see on the plain where carnage is wisely practiced, there would be no war and, without war, there would be no victory, so legions of the night, nightbreed, rise thy weapons in warfare, for we are the apocalypse!

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Crow
 Post subject: Re: ok folks. here we go....
PostPosted: Sat Apr 23, 2011 9:21 pm 
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Dark Knight
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Joined: Tue Jan 21, 2003 4:14 am
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Location: Ontario, Canada
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yah i thought about that one... for some reason a joke about punching a woman twice in the face is worse than shooting her twice... weird...

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She smells of sunflowers and napalm...

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Diamhasla
 Post subject: Re: ok folks. here we go....
PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2011 8:27 pm 
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Darkness Incarnate
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Joined: Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:07 pm
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How many honest, intelligent, caring men does it take to do the dishes?
Both of them

Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

What do you do if your best friend runs off with your husband?
Pity her

Did you hear about the hermaphrodite baby?
It had a penis AND a brain

Why haven't any women ever gone to the moon?
It doesn't need cleaning yet

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It

Man: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God: "So you would love her."
Man: "But God, why did you make her so dumb?"
God: "So she would love you."

_________________
Victories do not simply happen.
Blood must be shed, a lot of blood, to achieve them and to lay them down at the feet of conquerers. Without the corpses and the scattered limbs you see on the plain where carnage is wisely practiced, there would be no war and, without war, there would be no victory, so legions of the night, nightbreed, rise thy weapons in warfare, for we are the apocalypse!

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Crow
 Post subject: Re: ok folks. here we go....
PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2011 8:34 pm 
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Dark Knight
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Joined: Tue Jan 21, 2003 4:14 am
Posts: 4998
Location: Ontario, Canada
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lol i like that last one...

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She smells of sunflowers and napalm...

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Diamhasla
 Post subject: Re: ok folks. here we go....
PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2011 8:35 pm 
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Darkness Incarnate
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Joined: Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:07 pm
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Because you know it's true.

_________________
Victories do not simply happen.
Blood must be shed, a lot of blood, to achieve them and to lay them down at the feet of conquerers. Without the corpses and the scattered limbs you see on the plain where carnage is wisely practiced, there would be no war and, without war, there would be no victory, so legions of the night, nightbreed, rise thy weapons in warfare, for we are the apocalypse!

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 Profile E-mail  
 
Crow
 Post subject: Re: ok folks. here we go....
PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2011 8:47 pm 
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Dark Knight
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Joined: Tue Jan 21, 2003 4:14 am
Posts: 4998
Location: Ontario, Canada
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that women are dumb? if you say so!

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She smells of sunflowers and napalm...

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Rimmon
 Post subject: Re: ok folks. here we go....
PostPosted: Fri May 13, 2011 2:10 am 
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Freak
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Joined: Thu Sep 25, 2008 9:02 pm
Posts: 129
Location: Central Europe
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Husband to wife:
-make tea for me!
-magical word?
husband replys:
-MAKE THAT TEA U FUCKIN` WHORE!!
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Crow
 Post subject: Re: ok folks. here we go....
PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2011 11:47 pm 
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Dark Knight
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Joined: Tue Jan 21, 2003 4:14 am
Posts: 4998
Location: Ontario, Canada
Blog: View Blog (1)
that's more than one word... the husband obviously didn't understand the question.

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She smells of sunflowers and napalm...

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Diamhasla
 Post subject: Re: ok folks. here we go....
PostPosted: Wed May 18, 2011 7:25 pm 
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Darkness Incarnate
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Joined: Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:07 pm
Posts: 358
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How do you know when a woman is going to say something intelligent?

When her first words are, "A man once told me....."

_________________
Victories do not simply happen.
Blood must be shed, a lot of blood, to achieve them and to lay them down at the feet of conquerers. Without the corpses and the scattered limbs you see on the plain where carnage is wisely practiced, there would be no war and, without war, there would be no victory, so legions of the night, nightbreed, rise thy weapons in warfare, for we are the apocalypse!

Top
 Profile E-mail  
 
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